he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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