It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
