You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
