remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
