i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
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