dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
