he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
