plz talk dirty to me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
