Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
