I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
