Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
