Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
