Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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