i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
