still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
