Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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