i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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