blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
