im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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