peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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