We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He kissed a someone with a penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
