Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
