am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
