wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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