his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
