I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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