then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
