i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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