look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
