all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
