True but thats because hes a fetus.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
