Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
