i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
