So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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