Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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