We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
