hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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