i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
