On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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