I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
