My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
