Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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