remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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