I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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