the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
