i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
