forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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