She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
