Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Randomize
