Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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