im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
